I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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