There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
