Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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