Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
