Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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