we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize