just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
