She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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