I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize