shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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