I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
