if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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