I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
