I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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