Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
