did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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