And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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