I'm lost and stupid without you.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
