Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
