So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
