There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize