I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
