He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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