booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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