gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
