He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize