omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
