remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
