And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize