How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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