the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
