I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
they call him Oral-B. enough said
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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