do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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