Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
