Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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