Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
