I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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