More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
this boner is exhausting
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
