I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
40s are totally the cure
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize