Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
