i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
