So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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