I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
