He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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