If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
