Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
