i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
