just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
either way he was missing a nipple.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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