Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
