And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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