then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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