make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
