Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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