You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
third nipple confirmed
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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