i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
