this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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