If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Randomize
