Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
