Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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