I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
