I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the day after is always just damage control
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
