Dual....:-)
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
