he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
